Well, in true "second-child" fashion, I have put off writing about this new baby until I'm more than halfway through the pregnancy. But, I figure this will probably be the last time I will be pregnant so I would like to still chronicle some details so I have some basis of comparison from this pregnancy to my previous one.
So as not to bore with a ton of minute details, I'll simply remark on the milestone moments of this pregnancy. Or at least the moments I can actually remember thus far.
I found out I was pregnant when the talk about COVID was just transitioning from a murmer to a shout. My in-laws were coming for a visit at the conclusion of their Caribbean cruise and when I mentioned this at work, I was told I would have to quarantine for two weeks. I went home with a sick feeling in my stomach. Not because of my in-laws (they're honestly great and we get along really well), but I couldn't shake this funny feeling. I couldn't tell if it was because I was nervous about having to fill two weeks of time at home or the fact that all the businesses around seemed to be shutting down and closing out of fear, or if it was something else...
I let it go for a few days but the nausea continued. Sure enough, the pregnancy test turned out positive. I was kind of in shock. Not just with the idea of having a second baby, but with the idea of going through a pregnancy during a pandemic. I wondered how many ways this pregnancy would differ from the last one.
Turns out there are some definite differences. For one, the nausea was waaaay worse this time around. My poor mother-in-law would try to cook us dinner every night and most nights I was too sick to eat more than some oyster crackers and ginger ale. Even now I still have a hard time brushing my teeth without triggering my gag reflex.
The second thing is the fatigue. I'm sure I was plenty tired when I was pregnant with Joey but for some reason this time I feel even more logey. I've come home from work on several occasions and after helping get Joey down, I will immediately pass out on the bed, the recliner, the sofa, the kitchen table....basically any steady and sturdy surface.
The third thing is just how lax I feel this time around, which isn't really a good thing for me. When I was pregnant before I went to classes, read lots of books, asked for tons of advice, scoured reviews on baby products to put on my registry, etc. For whatever reason this time I haven't felt the urge to bone up on birthing techniques or the best bottle brands. I've been more like, "eh, I did this before. I'll remember what to do." I don't. There are a lot of things I don't remember and that kind of freaks me out. That is, until, I pass out again in my bowl of ice cream.
But those difference are pretty petty. Probably the biggest difference is the fact that I was alone for most of my doctor's appointments. And here is where the reality of the coronavirus threat has most significantly reared its ugly head.
Early in my pregnancy, before I as sharing the news with most people, I had a scare. I was at work when I noticed blood in my underwear. I panicked and immediately expected the worst. Joe picked me up and was trying to keep me calm the whole car ride to my doctor's office. However, when we arrived and we were told that he wasn't allowed to come inside with me, I noticed his face finally turn worried too. I sat in the office waiting while he paced nervously outside the building like a caged tiger. Turns out everything was ok but having to go through those moments alone were rough. And to continue to go to my appointments solo was still a drag, especially when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. I know it would've meant a lot to Joe to be there for that, as I'm sure it is for all those soon-to-be dads out there.
Fortunately, he was there with me when we found out it was going to be a girl. We both whooped and screamed behind our masks, nearly giving the poor ultrasound technician a heart attack.
Since then, the biggest update has been how active she has become. I was worried at first because I wasn't feeling much movement. The doctor and nurses would ask and when I said I wasn't feeling anything yet I worried that meant something was wrong. But they assured me I'd feel her soon. And soon enough, I did. Now I feel her all the time and sometimes she really gives a good wallop, even at night. I keep wondering if this is a sign of what's to come with her personality...
Which brings us up to now. I continue to go to most of my appointments alone, but I know it's not possible for Joe to be there for all of them. But it is still strange to sit with a mask on for all my appointments. And I've really felt the love at work, especially from my female coworkers who dote on me and ask how I'm doing. Even some patrons have fussed over me which is nice, especially when I have to tell them their book is overdue or the movie they want is unavailable. And to the patrons who are rude or mean, I feel the full angry force of my hormones as I imagine ways to torture and punish them.
I still have a few months to go and I have no idea what habit or craving might be waiting for me around the corner. But as I scratch my itchy belly, excited to finish this post so I can get my cookies and milk, I'm sure it will be something worth writing about.
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